It is a proven fact that the vast majority of women like tall men. It makes a lot of sense because we are continually under threat of attack by mountain lions and wolves, women need a tall, strong man to protect them.

Short men simply will not do. It’s unfortunate that there are short men, then, as we have abandoned our systematic rounding up and execution of these tiny vermin as 1954.

However, this minuscule menace will not be eliminated anytime soon, so we might as well pander to them. If you are short, here are tips to dating women.

Wear lifts. If you are a complete wuss, this is a great idea. Why not just put on a bra and panties too, you woman. Women love tiny transvestites.

Become a hypnotist. It is very easy to convince a woman that you are a 6’5” dynamo when you have taken her free will. If you do not have patience, use alcohol. Do not let her become sober.

Date women with low self-esteem. They will simply be grateful that you do not abuse them, which you should only reserve for when they question your height. Just tell them that you are rather tall, and if they question it, threaten to leave. They will shut up but quick.



Date amputees. Legs only. Or date women in wheelchairs. If you find the woman of your dreams who is not in a wheelchair, convince her that she should sit in one as she is your little princess or some bullcrap like that.

Good luck, you teensy freaks. We normals loathe you, and plan to firebomb your brood once your diminutive backs are turned.