Well, lucky fella, you have finally gotten that girl from your office to go out with you. Good for you!

Provided that your employer isn’t about to can your ass for violating some idiotic fraternization policy, you ought to have a great time and perhaps even go somewhere with this thing.

Of course, you’re an idiot. You’re taking a big steaming crap right where you sleep–metaphorically, we hope. If you make a habit of actually taking a steaming crap where you sleep, you should invest in adult diapers.
No, dating someone who you work with is a great idea right up until you have a horrible breakup and she gets you fired. But it’s cheaper than the bar so here’s a great way to liven up that first date!

Talk about work. Oh yeah, this is a good idea. Start off bitching about coworkers and work your way up the hierarchy until you’ve complained about everyone at every level in the company.

Nothing can engender sexy feelings like complaints about your job, especially if the woman you’re trying to bed can place a face to every name that you jaw on about.

Do not be surprised if she tries to do you right there at the restaurant.

Talk about your salary. This is also a great idea because it shows her that you make more than she does.

Given that women make $.75 to every dollar a man makes, this will remind her of gender inequity. At this point, nod sympathetically and tell her that you think it’s awful how women are paid less in this country.

It will make you look sensitive and feminist, and women like men who remind them of angry lesbian professors.

Do her on the first date. There is no reason to take this slow.

You should rush this as quickly as possible because, really, what’s the worst that could happen?

No, really. What is the worst that could happen?